The “Story”

Duck and Cover Your Ass
U.S. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia is still refusing to recuse himself from hearing a case involving duck hunting pal Dick Cheney, saying that his admiration for the V.P. and the good times they shared killing God’s creatures would in no way influence his always impartial decisions.

Cheney is looking to duck (no pun intended) a court order that demands he respond to questions concerning his meetings with top-level energy industry representatives while the Bush administration was shaping this country’s energy policy. That mess has stunk for quite some time and, thankfully, it’s not going away.

Scalia last week issued a lengthy 21-page memorandum explaining his rationale. While generally well written, well argued and to the point, Scalia remains defiant to the end. The most telling quote comes near the end where he notes, “If it is reasonable to think that a Supreme Court Justice can be bought so cheap, the Nation is in deeper trouble than I had imagined.” Yeah, we’re in that much trouble.

Freedom From Choice
In news from the “front,” the U.S. has shuttered an Iraqi newspaper and barred it from printing for 60 days, saying its editors are using the paper to incite violence among insurgents. So that’s our role in Iraq now, shutting down the press. You gotta love this country—land of the free, promoter of free-dumb. I’m sure that famed journalist A. J. Liebling, who once said, “Freedom of the press is guaranteed only to those who own one,” is rolling in his grave.

My Sharona
Looks like Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon will be charged for his role in a real estate scandal, which could bring an end to his bloody regime. That might be good news for Israelis and Palestinians alike. Sharon the hawk has done nothing but incite violence in the region and further escalate hostilities. 3N is waiting for the day when Sharon ceases to be shielded by the U.S. and has to face the world for what, in our opinion, amounts to nothing less than war crimes.

Hollywood: Gone to the Dogs
Hollywood is officially out of ideas and proved it with the world premiere of Benji: Rags to Riches. The less than overwhelming response didn’t get the director down, however. He’s confident that audiences are ready for some good family entertainment and are growing tired of flesh-eating zombies and images of Christ getting hit over the head. 3N predicts you’ll be able to own it (own it!) on video and DVD as early as next week.

Smokers, It’s Not Easy Being Green
And while Washington state legislators agonize over a statewide smoking ban, the Irish have already instituted one of their own. No smoking, in any public areas including pubs. Yeah, that ought to go over well.

The News

Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid
For my money, the best story out there is the U.S. Senate’s approval of the Unborn Victims of Violence Act. The bill, passed by an overwhelming majority in the House last month, would outlaw injury to a fetus during the commission of a crime.

Certainly there’s nothing wrong with protecting pregnant mothers and their unborn children, but the problem with this bill is that it amounts to nothing more than a thinly disguised attempt to further undermine a woman’s right to an abortion and further the rights of an unborn fetus by recognizing it as a person. And this time, to the media’s credit, it’s calling a spade a spade. The New York Times alluded to the true nature of the bill in the second paragraph of its story last week.

Now Republicans have been looking to pass this legislation for years and, with a clear majority and the murder of Laci Peterson and her unborn child fresh in our minds, they’re finally getting their way. The bill is on its way to President Bush’s desk where his signature is, at this point, only a formality.

Opponents of the bill say its language is what’s most troubling. The bill refers to the fetus as “a member of the species homo sapiens, at any stage of development, who is carried in the womb.” Now how can you have abortion when the fetus is referred to in that way? The answer is, you can’t. And that’s what this bill could be gearing up for: a whole-scale, all-out attack on abortion with the eventual repeal of Row v. Wade. You women out there ought to be scared shitless and you also better pray every night that Kerry, who opposed the legislation, is our next president.

Republicans across the board, including the authors of the bill, deny that it is in any way an attempt to restrict abortions but offered few details, or reassurances, to back up their claim. And they’re not fooling anyone.

“Instead of passing a consensus bill to punish criminals for their horrific acts, the president's allies are taking advantage of this issue to further their campaign to oppose a woman's right to choose," said Kate Michelman, president of Naral Pro-Choice America.

All credit to Sen. Dianne Feinstein, D-Calif., who proposed an amendment to the bill that would have kept the same tough penalties on criminals attacking pregnant women, but would have classified such attacks as a single-victim crime and thus avoided the issue of fetal rights all together. Feinstein’s amendment was rejected in a 50-49 vote.