The "Story"
The Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) today renewed its efforts to revive the sagging music industry by suing college students and teenagers across the nation for sharing songs over the Internet. Wired News today reports a fresh batch of 532 subpoenas sent to universities and Internet service providers (ISPs) seeking the names and addresses of the offending individuals so that justice can be served.

On the lighter side, the RIAA's official Website remains down for the fifth day in a row, most likely the result of the MyDoom virus that was programmed to specifically attack that site and Microsoft's. The outage sets a new record for denial of service, besting a four-day blackout the site suffered last year. Predictably, a spokesmen for the RIAA had no comment.

The scare of the day comes from Russia's top naval admiral who claims one of that country's most powerful nuclear warships may be about to "blow up." Admiral Vladimir Kuroyedov later recanted and said he meant only that the ship was in dire need of maintenance. Kuroyedov now denies telling both the Itar-Tass and Interfax news agencies that the ship had been ordered back to port as "it may blow up any minute."

Back home, U.S. consumers were again reminded why they should buy foreign cars and why the domestic auto market continues its slump. Evidently programmers for the new, revamped and highly trumpeted Pontiac Grand Prix forgot that 2004 is a leap year, creating big problems for the car's computer. The only visible glitch for buyers will be a dashboard readout which will continually display the wrong day. The car's internal computer, however, may suffer from the glitch and the cars may need to be recalled. Every single one of them.

Speaking of recalls, Virgin Airways has announced it has scrapped plans to install a fleet of mouth-shaped urinals at its clubhouse in New York's JFK airport. Go to the story from Yahoo News for a picture of what you could have been peeing in. The bright red urinals, shaped like a woman's open mouth, were deemed offensive by several dozen individuals and the National Organization for Women (NOW). NOW President Kim Gandy was pleased with the announcement saying "I don't know many men who think it's cool to pee in a woman's mouth." Were Ms. Gandy to do a simple Google search, she might be surprised.

And that's because all men are idiots, or so we are told. From the hit show "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" to the slew of magazines, as reported by USA Today, that are bent on coaching men how to shop, cook and even pick the right flowers, the market is saturated with advice for hapless men who can't think for themselves, dress themselves and are apparently clueless as to how to meet and ensnare the opposite sex. It's amazing the species has lasted this long.

Witness Katya Cengel's report, from the Louisville Courier-Journal on The Nice Guys' Institute, located in Tampa, Florida. Founded by two self-proclaimed "nice guys," the Institute seeks to instruct well intentioned, though hapless, men on the art of seducing women.

One of the founders, John Fate, has even published three books on the subject. Fate offers a number of dating "tips" men should follow to be more successful with women. They include: convey interest during conversations with women by facing them while talking, nodding your at head appropriate times and maintaining eye contact. Questions men can ask to keep the conversation moving along include, "Are you from this city?" and "Are there any movies out right now you want to see?" Please.

These aren't "tips." That type of behavior is called common courtesy and civility. Further, we at 3N have found both sexes severely lacking in those areas, not just men. Cengel's article, sadly unavailable online, is titled "Nice Guys Don't Always Finish Last With Women." A quick poll here at 3N reveals that statement to be patently untrue . . .

The News
If you're not listening to the testimony being given at the 9/11 hearings today, you ought to be. It's on your local NPR station pretty much all day today and tomorrow. If you aren't listening it's probably because you, like many other Americans, firmly believe this commission will find nothing, prove nothing, do nothing--go nowhere. And you're probably right. But there's some damn compelling testimony being given and you ought to tune in.